Status
Available
Call number
Genres
Collection
Publication
Thomas & Mercer (2019), 410 pages
Description
"After more than a decade, when sisters Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek hear the word mom, it claws like an eagle's talons, triggering memories that have been their secret since childhood. Until now. For years, behind the closed doors of their farmhouse in Raymond, Washington, their sadistic mother, Shelly, subjected her girls to unimaginable abuse, degradation, torture, and psychic terrors. Through it all, Nikki, Sami, and Tori developed a defiant bond that made them far less vulnerable than Shelly imagined. Even as others were drawn into their mother's dark and perverse web, the sisters found the strength and courage to escape an escalating nightmare that culminated in multiple murders. Harrowing and heartrending, If You Tell is a survivor's story of absolute evil--and the freedom and justice that Nikki, Sami, and Tori risked their lives to fight for. Sisters forever, victims no more, they found a light in the darkness that made them the resilient women they are today--loving, loved, and moving on." --… (more)
User reviews
LibraryThing member Cherylk
I briefly remember reading bits and pieces about this story when it was in the media. Tet, I did not know all of the details. My heart just broke for Nikki, Sami, and Tori as I read about their childhood growing up under their mother's reign.
Shelley was an evil woman. She was mental, physically,
As you read about all of the horrible abuse that the three sisters endured, you wonder why they stayed. As Dr. Katherine Ramsland talks about; children who grow up with cold, narcissistic or sadistic parents don't know any differently event when they see other families, at that time it is too late and the children just hunker down and adapt.
I have read several true crime novels that Mr. Olsen has penned collaboratory. This is the first he has written solo. This like the other books are no different; Mr. Olsen is a strong writer. While, it is a bit strange to say how much I really like reading this book about a true crime it is true. Whenever I get the chance to read a book by Mr. Olsen I jump at it.
Shelley was an evil woman. She was mental, physically,
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and verbally abusive to all who were around her; not just her daughters but husband, nephew, and the others that she took in promising their a good life only to turn on them and treat them worse than an dog. As you read about all of the horrible abuse that the three sisters endured, you wonder why they stayed. As Dr. Katherine Ramsland talks about; children who grow up with cold, narcissistic or sadistic parents don't know any differently event when they see other families, at that time it is too late and the children just hunker down and adapt.
I have read several true crime novels that Mr. Olsen has penned collaboratory. This is the first he has written solo. This like the other books are no different; Mr. Olsen is a strong writer. While, it is a bit strange to say how much I really like reading this book about a true crime it is true. Whenever I get the chance to read a book by Mr. Olsen I jump at it.
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LibraryThing member LaurelAM
I was repulsed by the story AND the writing and gave up on page 66. I was given the book because I was raised in South Bend, my mother was born in Raymond and I now live close to Battle Ground. Some crime stories do not need to be written nor read. No stars!
LibraryThing member ozzer
Michelle "Shelly" Knotek is the focus of this true crime story. Olsen reveals a woman suffering from multiple and severe symptoms of mental illness, including malignant narcissism, sadism, and pathological lying. For many years, these manifested in extreme cruelty and even the deaths of a family
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member and two boarders residing in her home. The bulk of this book is a recitation of her bizarre behavior, which was so dark that the narrative is difficult to read for long stretches. Her behavior remained hidden for years because of the complicity of her family, especially her passive husband. The most shocking feature of the story was how she abused and manipulated her three daughters, leaving them conflicted about their mother's love and loyalty. Despite receiving a lengthy prison sentence (due to be released in 2022), Shelly remains totally unrepentant and in denial to this day. This does not seem to auger well for those who will come in contact with her thereafter. Show Less
LibraryThing member Darcia
While reading If You Tell, my pacifist self fled and I suddenly wanted to kill several people. I also wanted to hug my mother.
To say this is a difficult read is a massive understatement. I read a lot of true crime, but this is the rare one that haunts me. The content is shocking, horrifying,
This book is written like the best thriller, with an engaging narrative. But if this was fiction, I'd likely accuse the author of creating an over-the-top plot. It's all too much, and yet it's all true. I'm astounded that three children were able to survive with any semblance of humanity, much less go on to become caring, productive adults.
I do wish Shelly's husband Dave's part in this had been more thoroughly explored. I felt he got off easy, both legally and within these pages. He was, without question, complicit and, at times, a contributor in the abuse of all three girls, as well as in the murders. The claim that he spent most of his time away, working, and therefore didn't know the extent of what was happening is nothing more than a convenient excuse for his cowardice.
If you're a fan of true crime, I definitely recommend this book. Just be prepared for a range of uncomfortable emotions while you read.
To say this is a difficult read is a massive understatement. I read a lot of true crime, but this is the rare one that haunts me. The content is shocking, horrifying,
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tragic, and difficult to believe. How did these things go on for decades without anyone noticing? And what the hell was wrong with the people who suspected abuse but did nothing? I know red flags are always easier to spot in retrospect, but rational, caring adults were woefully absent throughout these sisters' lives.This book is written like the best thriller, with an engaging narrative. But if this was fiction, I'd likely accuse the author of creating an over-the-top plot. It's all too much, and yet it's all true. I'm astounded that three children were able to survive with any semblance of humanity, much less go on to become caring, productive adults.
I do wish Shelly's husband Dave's part in this had been more thoroughly explored. I felt he got off easy, both legally and within these pages. He was, without question, complicit and, at times, a contributor in the abuse of all three girls, as well as in the murders. The claim that he spent most of his time away, working, and therefore didn't know the extent of what was happening is nothing more than a convenient excuse for his cowardice.
If you're a fan of true crime, I definitely recommend this book. Just be prepared for a range of uncomfortable emotions while you read.
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LibraryThing member Deelightful
A very disturbing tale of child abuse, murder, and family secrets.
LibraryThing member CJ82487
I almost hate rating this 5 stars because of the horrific nature of the book, but it was well written and riveting. Nonfiction books for me are sometimes hit or miss with the subject being interesting but the tone or writing style falling flat and coming off as more of a technical style of writing.
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In other words, just not my cup of tea. This, however, read like fiction but was unfortunately all true. I even had to Google Shelly just as a sort of this has to be made up right sort of search, but it is all sadly true. If only 1/4 is true, Shelly got away with a slap on the hand in terms of punishment. With every turn of the page, I couldn't believe what I was reading and while part of me knew Shane's fate, another part of me really really hoped otherwise. Even if you know of this story from watching it unfold in the news, which I did not, this book is worth reading. Show Less
LibraryThing member FormerEnglishTeacher
I’m not sure why I finished this book. I have such ambivalent feelings about it. It is one of the many books in the dysfunctional family genre that has been so popular lately. Books like Hillbilly Elegy and Educated come to mind. And like those books, I thought the entire time I was reading If
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You Tell, “What is wrong with you people?” And I’m not necessarily talking about Shelley and Dave. They were criminally nuts. I’m talking about the adults (most of whom were victims of the couple) and the older girls. Like the daughter and author in Educated, these people just came back for more and more as they were abused. In the case of the older daughters, they were complicit in some of Shelley’s torture. Anticipating this reaction from readers, Olsen enlisted the expertise of a psychologist to write an Afterward trying to explain this reaction from victims and family members. As a reader who was skeptical throughout the book, the psycho explanation didn’t do much to assuage my questions and doubts. Bottom line is I probably would not recommend this book. Like Educated, it’s much too long. Like that book, there is much repetition, to the point that I was ready to skip through sections to get to something new. Although this book isn’t my cup of tea, I’m sure many people love this type of story. They are probably the same readers who watch people involved in these stories on Dr. Phil. Show Less
LibraryThing member Susan.Macura
This is one of the most frightening books I have ever read, mainly because it is true! It is the story of a family where the description dysfunctional is too trite to apply! Mom Shelly abused her three daughters, was responsible for the deaths of a number of adult "friends" and somehow manipulated
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her third husband to be a supporter and participant in all of these activities, including killing a teenage relative living with them. What makes this story even more chilling is the fact that mom is getting out of prison in 2022 and the children want the world to be aware of her past so she can't repeat it again, something they truly fear. This book was an amazing look at evil. Show Less
LibraryThing member Penny_L
A superbly written, horrible and tragic story
This book is the most shocking true crime novel I have ever read. It's along the same line as "A Child Called It". Except in that book, there was a singular victim. In this book, there are eight.
The multi-voiced narrative is from the surviving victims,
My mind is reeling at how these heinous crimes against humanity could go undetected for so long, and so recently. And also at how a dubious plea deal kept the story out of the media, and facilitated Michelle Knotek's upcoming release from prison.
Disturbing, poignant and heartbreaking, you will not forget the strength of these sisters and their survival instinct.
This book is the most shocking true crime novel I have ever read. It's along the same line as "A Child Called It". Except in that book, there was a singular victim. In this book, there are eight.
The multi-voiced narrative is from the surviving victims,
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friends and relatives, as well as law enforcement and psychologists. The author combined this well researched information, family history and interviews into a chronological unfolding of horrifying and sickening events.My mind is reeling at how these heinous crimes against humanity could go undetected for so long, and so recently. And also at how a dubious plea deal kept the story out of the media, and facilitated Michelle Knotek's upcoming release from prison.
Disturbing, poignant and heartbreaking, you will not forget the strength of these sisters and their survival instinct.
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LibraryThing member KimD66
I can't say this book is great. I can't even say it is good. The telling of Nikki, Sami and Tori's tale is horrific! Yet it is a book that needed writing. Gregg Olsen did a superb job chronicling their story.
We're given a glimpse into a world led by a family matriarch with serious mental issues. A
At the midway point, I wondered how much more emotional, psychological and physical torture could happen. Turns out, quite a bit! My heart goes out to Nikki, Sami and Tori, as they learn the true definition of bravery, sisterhood and strength.
We're given a glimpse into a world led by a family matriarch with serious mental issues. A
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glimpse was far more than enough for me. I can't imagine that world being reality, as it was for these 3 amazing women.At the midway point, I wondered how much more emotional, psychological and physical torture could happen. Turns out, quite a bit! My heart goes out to Nikki, Sami and Tori, as they learn the true definition of bravery, sisterhood and strength.
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LibraryThing member chibitika
Well-written account of an incredibly sadistic, manipulative, evil monster of a wife, mother and friend. Beware, world, the monster will be released from prison in 2022. She will offend again. Stay far away from Michelle “Shelly” Knotek.
LibraryThing member linda.marsheells
Fantastic piece of writing involving psychological manipulation, familial ties, torture and murder.....
but WAIT!!
It happened! It's real! Astoundingly, tho it reads like fiction ( it HAS to be right?) it's a horrifying true story written by the well-known author of true-crime, Gregg Olsen.
I grew up
but WAIT!!
It happened! It's real! Astoundingly, tho it reads like fiction ( it HAS to be right?) it's a horrifying true story written by the well-known author of true-crime, Gregg Olsen.
I grew up
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with " what happens in this house STAYS in this house " but this is a whole new level.....a whole other world. How the sisters not only survived, but thrived once freed is beyond me. Show Less
LibraryThing member SamSattler
I have read a considerable number of true crime books over the years, and few of them have failed to fascinate me in one way or the other. Even fewer of them managed to simultaneously fascinate and repulse me the way that Gregg Olsen’s If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the
That Knotek’s three daughters (Nikki, Sami, and Tori) have managed to live relatively normal lives after the horrible physical and mental abuse they suffered at their mother’s hand and direction, is astounding. Although it is not addressed much in Olsen’s book, it is hard to believe that the three of them are not still suffering the consequences of the years their mother tortured them. Nikki, the oldest, is married and raising a family in Seattle; Sami, the middle daughter, is an elementary school teacher in a rural Washington town where much of the abuse happened; and Tori, the youngest is now in her early thirties and living somewhere in central Oregon.
Others of her mother’s victims were not so lucky.
Shelly Knotek was never happier than she was in the middle of physically torturing her victims. She lived for nothing more. And with the help of her third husband, Dave Knotek, a pathetically weak man who still defends his wife’s actions, she was able to hide what was happening from authorities for years. Ultimately, Shelly would be convicted of her crimes (via what is called an Alford plea agreement) and sentenced, after having talked herself into an extra 5 years for arrogantly denying everything at her formal sentencing, to 22 years in prison. It appears that she will be released sometime in 2022 after having served about 18 years of the sentence. Dave Knotek was sentenced to just under 15 years in 2004 and was released from prison in 2016.
If You Tell includes an Afterword by Katherine Ramsland that goes a long way in explaining how Shelly Knotek so easily found victims outside her immediate family. In one heartbreaking passage, Ramsland sums it up this way:
“First, they look for compliant people with few resources: their own children or elderly parents, friends in need, homeless people, the mentally ill, or those without family ties. Then they pursue a program of steady erosion of their victims’ ability to resist. Even in the face of outrageous behavior, such people will be too frightened, docile, confused, or incapacitated to retaliate or seek help.”
But it is Nikki, Sami, and Tori who are given the last word, a warning to the public, especially to those who are vulnerable to people like their mother, that she will be released soon – and that she will do it again.
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Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood did. The fascination comes from what Michelle “Shelly” Knotek was able to get away with for so long. The repulsion, maybe revulsion is an even better word, comes from having to be in her company for the three days it took me to read this account of how evil the woman was – and from all accounts, still is.That Knotek’s three daughters (Nikki, Sami, and Tori) have managed to live relatively normal lives after the horrible physical and mental abuse they suffered at their mother’s hand and direction, is astounding. Although it is not addressed much in Olsen’s book, it is hard to believe that the three of them are not still suffering the consequences of the years their mother tortured them. Nikki, the oldest, is married and raising a family in Seattle; Sami, the middle daughter, is an elementary school teacher in a rural Washington town where much of the abuse happened; and Tori, the youngest is now in her early thirties and living somewhere in central Oregon.
Others of her mother’s victims were not so lucky.
Shelly Knotek was never happier than she was in the middle of physically torturing her victims. She lived for nothing more. And with the help of her third husband, Dave Knotek, a pathetically weak man who still defends his wife’s actions, she was able to hide what was happening from authorities for years. Ultimately, Shelly would be convicted of her crimes (via what is called an Alford plea agreement) and sentenced, after having talked herself into an extra 5 years for arrogantly denying everything at her formal sentencing, to 22 years in prison. It appears that she will be released sometime in 2022 after having served about 18 years of the sentence. Dave Knotek was sentenced to just under 15 years in 2004 and was released from prison in 2016.
If You Tell includes an Afterword by Katherine Ramsland that goes a long way in explaining how Shelly Knotek so easily found victims outside her immediate family. In one heartbreaking passage, Ramsland sums it up this way:
“First, they look for compliant people with few resources: their own children or elderly parents, friends in need, homeless people, the mentally ill, or those without family ties. Then they pursue a program of steady erosion of their victims’ ability to resist. Even in the face of outrageous behavior, such people will be too frightened, docile, confused, or incapacitated to retaliate or seek help.”
But it is Nikki, Sami, and Tori who are given the last word, a warning to the public, especially to those who are vulnerable to people like their mother, that she will be released soon – and that she will do it again.
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LibraryThing member JenniferRobb
WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILERS
*****
This book is disturbing. I can somewhat understand how the children could have thought this was how everyone's family is, especially if they have nothing else to compare it to--but there are adults who should know better who say nothing--and even when they do, they
Why didn't Kathy or Ron go to the authorities or some other responsible person and say what was going on with them? Why didn't any of the teachers notice the bruises or cuts on the kids? Why didn't one of the boyfriends who was told about what was going on report it? Why didn't Sammi contact the police back when they contacted her or why didn't the police pursue contacting her (to back up Nikki's story) more proactively? Because they didn't, I do really feel that part of Ron's death could be laid at their feet.
It's hard to believe that people can be so manipulative and so two-faced that they show one side to the family and friends while at the same time being able to isolate that person from them so well that eventually the person feels there's no one left to turn to.
So very sad.
*****
This book is disturbing. I can somewhat understand how the children could have thought this was how everyone's family is, especially if they have nothing else to compare it to--but there are adults who should know better who say nothing--and even when they do, they
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aren't pushing the authorities to check into it. Why didn't Kathy or Ron go to the authorities or some other responsible person and say what was going on with them? Why didn't any of the teachers notice the bruises or cuts on the kids? Why didn't one of the boyfriends who was told about what was going on report it? Why didn't Sammi contact the police back when they contacted her or why didn't the police pursue contacting her (to back up Nikki's story) more proactively? Because they didn't, I do really feel that part of Ron's death could be laid at their feet.
It's hard to believe that people can be so manipulative and so two-faced that they show one side to the family and friends while at the same time being able to isolate that person from them so well that eventually the person feels there's no one left to turn to.
So very sad.
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LibraryThing member JReynolds1959
What a vile, evil woman Shelly Knotek is! Torture, abuse, etc to everyone who she dealt with, including her own children. You will have to read this to learn the truth about the things that happened around this woman. It is a shame that there was never a real trial to put her away forever!
LibraryThing member purple_pisces22
I actually wish this was not a true story. It would be hard to think of someone writing such horrible acts as fiction, but do you know this stuff to place in real life makes you really question humanity.
I have had to sit on this review for a bit before trying to write something. I don’t feel
I’ve read books written by Gregg Olsen in the past and I’ve always enjoyed his writing, even if the story is less than pleasant. This one was no different. I feel he captured the events very thoroughly and fairly. Admittedly, I’d never heard of this family before reading this book, but after finishing, I certainly felt like I did know them.
I listened to the audiobook and the narrator was very good. Thank you to NetGalley for the ebook in return for my honest opinion.
#IfYouTell #NetGalley
I have had to sit on this review for a bit before trying to write something. I don’t feel
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that this is the type of review that can be written by just summing up the story. There’s far too much involved and I would not want to do the victims any injustice by trying to sum up what they went through in short review.I’ve read books written by Gregg Olsen in the past and I’ve always enjoyed his writing, even if the story is less than pleasant. This one was no different. I feel he captured the events very thoroughly and fairly. Admittedly, I’d never heard of this family before reading this book, but after finishing, I certainly felt like I did know them.
I listened to the audiobook and the narrator was very good. Thank you to NetGalley for the ebook in return for my honest opinion.
#IfYouTell #NetGalley
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LibraryThing member loraineo
This is a very sad story about 3 sisters living through horrible mental and physical abuse by their parents. So much detail the now adult sisters gave the author.
LibraryThing member BonnieKernene
This is one of Gregg Olsen's best books! The subject and details are very hard to read, however, it is still so fascinating and interesting to read. I basically knew the story, but not the details. His descriptions of the abuse and the victims, along with the perpetrators, is so overwhelming. It
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really has stayed with me. It is so hard to know that people like Shelly Knotek actually live and breathe. Unfortunately she will get out of prison soon and who knows if she will hurt another person. The author really researched this book well and presented it well. It was so hard to put down, as I wanted it to continue. I highly recommend this book. It is fabulous! Show Less
LibraryThing member page520
I don’t understand
How over a period of time three sisters could have received such severe abuse and witnessed such horrible abuse to others and remained silent. Love knows no bounds, but the sisters apparently were blinded.
How over a period of time three sisters could have received such severe abuse and witnessed such horrible abuse to others and remained silent. Love knows no bounds, but the sisters apparently were blinded.
LibraryThing member foof2you
A story so unbelievable that if it was not true you would think that it was made up. Gregg Olsen tells the story of a mother and father who were truly evil, torturing their own kids and step kids and others.
LibraryThing member Amy_Webb
It's hard to give a true story of this magnitude 5 stars, but I couldn't put it down! Like a train wreck you can't stop reading. I thought it was well written, some people disagree. But in a story like this you have to tell the story as it is told to you, not embellish, romanticize or add in your
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own take on the subject. Show Less
LibraryThing member Randall.Hansen
I love Gregg Olsen's storytelling abilities and this true-crime non-fiction book is a page-turner. If it were a novel, the reader would doubt a character (or characters) could be so cruel, so manipulative, so domineering... a mother that is pure evil... but the book also has resiliency and
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redemption -- and relief. So much sadness here, but such a great story. Show Less
LibraryThing member PaulaGalvan
Oh. My. God! This story will curl your toes and keep you up at night. The fact that it's a true story makes it even worse. Gregg Olsen did an outstanding job gathering the facts about Michelle (Shelly) Knotek and her husband, David, and laying them out as they happened on the rural coast of
Then, after Sami was in college, she remained silent, only deciding to talk after learning of her younger sister's abuse. It's hard to make sense of this kind of passive-save-myself-attitude while living in a home where horrific abuse takes place every day for years. I'm glad the author included the afterword at the end of the book, where Katherine Ramsland, a Ph.D., describes the phycology behind a victim's silence. It allowed me to have more empathy for Sami. Beware residents of Raymond, Washington! Shelly, the insane torturer murderess, will be released from prison in 2022. Please take care of each other.
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Washington through the 80s and 90s until they were convicted in 2004. I felt like I was living in the house with those girls while they were living through the worst nightmare imaginable. I did have a problem with how the victims played a part in their fate by not telling someone or trying to escape from that crazy house. Especially Sami, who the author reminds us several times, was the middle child. As a child, she had the most normal life, choosing to stay silent to save herself while she witnessed the severe abuse of others in the home.Then, after Sami was in college, she remained silent, only deciding to talk after learning of her younger sister's abuse. It's hard to make sense of this kind of passive-save-myself-attitude while living in a home where horrific abuse takes place every day for years. I'm glad the author included the afterword at the end of the book, where Katherine Ramsland, a Ph.D., describes the phycology behind a victim's silence. It allowed me to have more empathy for Sami. Beware residents of Raymond, Washington! Shelly, the insane torturer murderess, will be released from prison in 2022. Please take care of each other.
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LibraryThing member emma_mc
This true story was dark, twisted, and graphic. Disturbing and disgusting content. A tough read.
LibraryThing member mumoftheanimals
I was reading this while feeling sick and reading it made me feel sicker. The level of abuse was revolting and the horror went on and on and on. I had to finish it in a day. But I felt as if I was being a sadistic voyeur. Did the author overdo it? Not sure. It’s hard to believe that three people
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can be murdered and four children tortured and no-one noticed. But it’s a true story. And one that needs to be told. Show Less
Awards
Audie Award (Finalist — Non-Fiction — 2021)
Language
Original publication date
2019
ISBN
9781542005241