Status
Available
Call number
Publication
Flatiron Books (2016), 352 pages
Description
The true story of one girl's coming-of-age in a polygamist family. Ruth Wariner was the thirty-ninth of her father's forty-two children. Growing up on a farm in rural Mexico, where authorities turn a blind eye to the practices of her community, Ruth lives in a ramshackle house without indoor plumbing or electricity. At church, preachers teach that God will punish the wicked by destroying the world and that women can only ascend to Heaven by entering into polygamous marriages and giving birth to as many children as possible. After Ruth's father--the founding prophet of the colony--is brutally murdered by his brother in a bid for church power, her mother remarries, becoming the second wife of another faithful congregant. In need of government assistance and supplemental income, Ruth and her siblings are carted back and forth between Mexico and the United States, where Ruth's mother collects welfare and her stepfather works a variety of odd jobs. Ruth comes to love the time she spends in the States, realizing that perhaps the community into which she was born is not the right one for her. As she begins to doubt her family's beliefs and question her mother's choices, she struggles to balance her fierce love for her siblings with her determination to forge a better life for herself. Recounted from the innocent and hopeful perspective of a child, this is the memoir of one girl's fight for peace and love.--Adapted from book jacket.… (more)
User reviews
LibraryThing member beckyhaase
THE SOUND OF GRAVEL by Ruth Wariner
What a sad – and horrifying – life these children had foisted upon them by adults who should have cared for and loved them. It is hard to know where to start – with the father who wouldn’t give his children his name, a mother so blinded by faith she puts
Ruth Wariner’s calm retelling of her childhood living in a cult was difficult to read. The life of this family caught in the blindness of the mother to the toxic and heartbreaking reality of her family’s desperation and danger is written in straightforward prose. Ruth’s ability to ultimately save the remaining children is testament to her strength of character.
I can’t say that I “enjoyed” this book, but it was certainly riveting reading. I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t learn more about fundamental LDS, but then that was not the point of the book.
5 of 5 stars
To the publisher: On pages 9 and 28 there is an entire paragraph describing the “swimming reservoir” that is repeated word for word. It was pretty glaring as I was reading.
What a sad – and horrifying – life these children had foisted upon them by adults who should have cared for and loved them. It is hard to know where to start – with the father who wouldn’t give his children his name, a mother so blinded by faith she puts
Show More
her children in mortal danger, a community that lives in abject poverty out of fear? – faith? – stupidity? It also shows the inadequacy of border patrols, government assistance, the safety net for children and women and on and on.Ruth Wariner’s calm retelling of her childhood living in a cult was difficult to read. The life of this family caught in the blindness of the mother to the toxic and heartbreaking reality of her family’s desperation and danger is written in straightforward prose. Ruth’s ability to ultimately save the remaining children is testament to her strength of character.
I can’t say that I “enjoyed” this book, but it was certainly riveting reading. I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t learn more about fundamental LDS, but then that was not the point of the book.
5 of 5 stars
To the publisher: On pages 9 and 28 there is an entire paragraph describing the “swimming reservoir” that is repeated word for word. It was pretty glaring as I was reading.
Show Less
LibraryThing member bness2
Wow, this is an excellent memoir. Such a horrendous childhood, and yet she has come out the other side as a survivor.
LibraryThing member akblanchard
The dark side of polygamy is on full display in Ruth Wariner's memoir of growing up in Colonia LeBaron, a fundamentalist Mormon enclave in rural Mexico. Ruth's mother, Kathy, was the fifth wife of colony leader Joel LeBaron (Ruth's father) but after he was murdered, she became another man's third
Ultimately, Kathy's and Lane's selfishness and neglect, as well as the hazardous living conditions to which they subjected their children, led to a preventable tragedy.
The Sound of Gravel is a powerful, moving story, which deserves a place alongside other memoirs of hardscrabble childhoods such as Angela's Ashes, The Glass Castle, and This Life is in Your Hands. I hope it finds a wide readership.
Show More
wife. The new husband, Lane, was only periodically attentive to Kathy and her brood, which included three developmentally disabled children. Ruth and her siblings lived in poverty and almost unimaginable squalor. Remarkably, although Kathy could (and sometimes did) leave Lane to live with her parents in the United States, she never stayed away from him or the colony for long. Her belief that by "living polygamy" she was following God's will and storing up blessings for the afterlife was unshakable. Ultimately, Kathy's and Lane's selfishness and neglect, as well as the hazardous living conditions to which they subjected their children, led to a preventable tragedy.
The Sound of Gravel is a powerful, moving story, which deserves a place alongside other memoirs of hardscrabble childhoods such as Angela's Ashes, The Glass Castle, and This Life is in Your Hands. I hope it finds a wide readership.
Show Less
LibraryThing member susan0316
First, let me say that I rarely read memoirs - it's just not something that I enjoy. I am so glad that I made an exception with this book. Ruth Wariner's story is one that will stay in my mind. How she survived her childhood is amazing. At the start of her book, she tells us that she is the 39th of
Show More
her father's 42 children and is part of a polygamous cult in Mexico. She lived in a run down home with no electricity with her mom and brothers and sisters, several of whom were special needs kids, she was a happy child even as her family's life spun out of control. The book was amazing and even though it was difficult to read in parts, I am very glad that I read it. The author does an amazing job of telling her story and the one word that comes to mind when I think of her is RESILIENCE. Show Less
LibraryThing member Itzey
"I slowly walked toward my mother's grave. I picked up a large handful of gravel and rolled the hot pieces of stone and sand in my hand, thinking about the place..."
Ruth Wariner blew me away with this captivating memoir. I started it one night, late, with the thought of reading a few pages to get
What immediately struck me was the dire poverty as compared to other polygamist enclaves I was aware existed. I just couldn't wrap my head around her mother; her deeply entrenched belief that husband was a prophet and her need to raise her children in such squalor. I would love to have been inside the minds of these sister wives.
Rhetorical questions keep popping into my mind one after another. What kind of moral example does a parent send to their children when they illegally leach social assistance from the US as a means of survival? How can anyone consider this a religious lifestyle; overlooking sexual predators, murder, malnutrition et al? What drives a man to yearn more and more wives and more and more children that they simply ignore or abuse?
The story is made more powerful as the narration begins when Ruthie is five years old. The horrors and dangers she must overcome are almost unimaginable and made more so as viewed from a young child's perspective; especially a child as perceptive and engaging as Ruth. As we listen to Ruthie's story, as she ages, it becomes unbearable to witness the adult community immune to the needs of these children.
Again, I ask, when given the opportunity several times to make her children's lives more comfortable and safe, why does Ruth's mother return the family to the horrors of Colonia LeBaron?
Ruth packs more than a lifetime of emotion and strength of character in this amazing memoir.
And most importantly, we are asked to question our definitions of religion, trust, love, happiness, loyalty, family tradition, and more. This book will have you thinking about a lot of things for a very long time.
Highly recommended. This brilliant work is a book club must read.
I want to thank the publisher, Flatiron Pres via edelweiss for the free advance e-reader copy in exchange for my honest review.
Ruth Wariner blew me away with this captivating memoir. I started it one night, late, with the thought of reading a few pages to get
Show More
the flavor of the story and found myself reading until I just couldn't stay awake any longer.What immediately struck me was the dire poverty as compared to other polygamist enclaves I was aware existed. I just couldn't wrap my head around her mother; her deeply entrenched belief that husband was a prophet and her need to raise her children in such squalor. I would love to have been inside the minds of these sister wives.
Rhetorical questions keep popping into my mind one after another. What kind of moral example does a parent send to their children when they illegally leach social assistance from the US as a means of survival? How can anyone consider this a religious lifestyle; overlooking sexual predators, murder, malnutrition et al? What drives a man to yearn more and more wives and more and more children that they simply ignore or abuse?
The story is made more powerful as the narration begins when Ruthie is five years old. The horrors and dangers she must overcome are almost unimaginable and made more so as viewed from a young child's perspective; especially a child as perceptive and engaging as Ruth. As we listen to Ruthie's story, as she ages, it becomes unbearable to witness the adult community immune to the needs of these children.
Again, I ask, when given the opportunity several times to make her children's lives more comfortable and safe, why does Ruth's mother return the family to the horrors of Colonia LeBaron?
Ruth packs more than a lifetime of emotion and strength of character in this amazing memoir.
And most importantly, we are asked to question our definitions of religion, trust, love, happiness, loyalty, family tradition, and more. This book will have you thinking about a lot of things for a very long time.
Highly recommended. This brilliant work is a book club must read.
I want to thank the publisher, Flatiron Pres via edelweiss for the free advance e-reader copy in exchange for my honest review.
Show Less
LibraryThing member dele2451
The 39th child in a fundamentalist LDS family escapes plural marriage, extreme poverty, and incestuous pedophiles in a remote polygamist community in Mexico.
LibraryThing member nevans1972
This story is a riveting testimony to the courage and resiliency of the human spirit. This was a well written book that was hard to put down. Anyone that has experienced childhood trauma would benefit from reading this book. In spite of tremendous trauma, pain, loss, and abuse, the author's life
Show More
was redeemed. Ruth's determination was inspiring and she gives many people the strength to move past any trauma they maybe have gone through themselves. Show Less
LibraryThing member carolfoisset
Wow. What a story - I enjoy memoirs and this one is a true story of survival. Narrator is the author which added to the impact of the book. Her strength and courage as a child is amazing. I am always impressed and inspired by memoirs like this one.
LibraryThing member TooBusyReading
First sentence: “I am my mother's fourth child and my father's thirty-ninth.”
I really need to stop reading this kind of book although I find them interesting. This one, written by a woman raised in a polygamist FLDS environment was both interesting and well written. However, it just cheezed me
Once again, I read of men who think they are the last word, who think that believing in fairytales gives then the right to abuse women and children, shun responsibility, and pretty much get away with being arrogant failures.
Once again, I read of women who allow themselves to be doormats, who buy into the fairlytales, and who let their children as well as themselves suffer for their gullibility.
And once again, I read of children who bear the brunt of this stupidity.
And of course, we taxpayers are getting scammed because there is nothing more delightful than these deadbeat “single” (polygamist 2nd and 3rd and 4th...) wives cheat welfare. But they are saving souls so who are we to question? Keep your god out of my government.
This book, this memoir, enforces why I think religion in the wrong hands can be detrimental to all of us. And of course, there is tragedy for this particular family. Tragedy through stupidity and arrogance.
“Then I opened my hand and released the warm earth and rock, the sound of gravel, empty and hollow, echoing up frojm the hole as it struck [redacted]'s wooden coffin.
I borrowed an ebook copy of this book from my local library
I really need to stop reading this kind of book although I find them interesting. This one, written by a woman raised in a polygamist FLDS environment was both interesting and well written. However, it just cheezed me
Show More
off.Once again, I read of men who think they are the last word, who think that believing in fairytales gives then the right to abuse women and children, shun responsibility, and pretty much get away with being arrogant failures.
Once again, I read of women who allow themselves to be doormats, who buy into the fairlytales, and who let their children as well as themselves suffer for their gullibility.
And once again, I read of children who bear the brunt of this stupidity.
And of course, we taxpayers are getting scammed because there is nothing more delightful than these deadbeat “single” (polygamist 2nd and 3rd and 4th...) wives cheat welfare. But they are saving souls so who are we to question? Keep your god out of my government.
This book, this memoir, enforces why I think religion in the wrong hands can be detrimental to all of us. And of course, there is tragedy for this particular family. Tragedy through stupidity and arrogance.
“Then I opened my hand and released the warm earth and rock, the sound of gravel, empty and hollow, echoing up frojm the hole as it struck [redacted]'s wooden coffin.
I borrowed an ebook copy of this book from my local library
Show Less
LibraryThing member TerriS
Ruth Wariner's story of her life, until she is fifteen years old, is sad, harrowing, and compelling. Her life lived in a polygamist family, over the border into Mexico, is just....messy. The polygamy thing is always confusing; none of the wives in this story ever seem to be happy; the children are
Also, some stories like this make me feel so bad that it is hard for me to make myself keep going back to read the book. This book was not this way. It is well-written and easy to read. I think part of it is that as Ruth is growing up she doesn't realize how wrong her life really is. It is just what she is used to. That somehow makes it easier to read, for me at least.
I read it for book club and am anxious to hear the discussion tomorrow. This is a very interesting, nonfiction book & I recommend it!
Show More
not well taken care of. The whole lifestyle is just very discouraging. But the way this girl fights to be free of this tangled situation, while trying to help her siblings as well, is inspiring. Also, some stories like this make me feel so bad that it is hard for me to make myself keep going back to read the book. This book was not this way. It is well-written and easy to read. I think part of it is that as Ruth is growing up she doesn't realize how wrong her life really is. It is just what she is used to. That somehow makes it easier to read, for me at least.
I read it for book club and am anxious to hear the discussion tomorrow. This is a very interesting, nonfiction book & I recommend it!
Show Less
LibraryThing member NeedMoreShelves
I haven't read a book in a long time that grabbed me so immediately from the beginning and kept me reading feverishly to the end. The mom in me was horrified at the depictions of life without electricity, adequate food, or appropriate adult supervision. The kid in me recognized the moments of
(Source - ARC from publisher - thank you Flatiron Books!)
Show More
magic, even in this seemingly dismal childhood. This is a memoir for readers who think they don't like memoirs - The Sound of Gravel will keep you up at night, bring tears to your eyes, and once again make you believe in happy endings. Highest recommendations.(Source - ARC from publisher - thank you Flatiron Books!)
Show Less
LibraryThing member Staciele
I love memoirs and this one piqued my interest and I loved it. I listened to it on audio and it is read by the author which made it even more personal. Ruth Wariner was born into a polygamist family. Her father was murdered when she was just a few months old by his own church members. Her mother
Show More
remarried another leader in their church and continued to have children. Her family lived mainly in Mexico but moved to the states a few times during various family struggles. They were always poor, living mostly on rice and beans, with no proper bathrooms, and minimal electricity. Visiting her grandparents in California would open her eyes to cartoons, macaroni and cheese, and showers. But, beyond the poverty were the abuse that her mother and Ruth suffered through, the mental illness, her siblings' handicaps. Her story is gripping and heart-breaking. But, you know she makes it out because of the book which makes it easier to get through the devastatingly awful situations she had to survive. It's an eye-opening look into the world of polygamy, poverty, and family loyalty. Show Less
LibraryThing member Narshkite
Certainly a harrowing story by an admirable woman who overcame unthinkable obstacles and triumphed. I have seen others compare this to The Glass Castle, but this is not its equal. Certainly both are about difficult childhoods with terrible parents, but Glass Castle was about larger truths and
Show More
provided exceptional character profiles. This is interesting, but not more than the sum of its parts. Recommended for those (like me) a little obsessed with polygamous cults. Show Less
LibraryThing member sbenne3
I could not put this memoir down. The story of a young girl growing up in polygamy was gripping. It is a look into a lifestyle and loyalties that I cannot understand (and still don't) that you will not be able to forget.
LibraryThing member iadam
A heartbreaking story. No one should ever have to live like this. So much abuse and mistreatment. All in the name of religion. Couldn't put it down. The ending of her old life in Mexico was so horrendous I really struggled to find the fortitude to continue reading.
LibraryThing member amylee39
Disturbing memoir of a woman who was raised in a polygamous LDS sect in Mexico. She described her mother as a 'woman who wanted nothing more than to be loved' while I saw her as a brainwashed woman who subjected her children to her pedophile second husband (not that her first husband was stable -
Show More
he had visions of the US being destroyed). The fact that she said that he should be 'forgiven' for his sins was enough to make me want to throw the book across the room. I realize that, in the end, the author was a brave woman who made sure that her siblings were safe and is deserving of praise, but part of me wonders if her life as a young, poor, abused child growing up with a group of religious zealots somehow affected her permanently. Show Less
LibraryThing member KimMeyer
This is the kind of memoir where the details are so vivid and so unfathomable that you forget you're not reading fiction. In Tracy McMillan's memoir, there's a line about how she thinks people who don't remember much of childhood probably had good ones without much being noteworthy. Ruth Wariner's
Show More
childhood growing up in a polygamous colony was clearly memorable, and this detailed account is entirely believable and yet hard to fathom. Show Less
LibraryThing member Robinsonstef
A story that will open your eyes and show you another way of life. My heart broke for Ruthie and her family. There is such love between the siblings in this story! I can only imagine how difficult this book was to write.
LibraryThing member kakadoo202
Well written story about mormons and child abuse. Unbelievable how women put up with men like this.
LibraryThing member KatrinaShawver
This book was a compelling read that caught my attention and held it for a two-day read. The opening words set the scene: "I am my mother's fourth child and my father's thirty-ninth. I grew up in Colonia LeBaron...in Mexico.." It is written from the viewpoint of a young girl growing up as the
The Sound of Gravel (published in 2015) has many similarities and parallel themes to Tara Westover's Educated, (published in 2018). I am not listing them to avoid spoilers. If you read Educated, you will also like this book. This would make a great book club read, and it is a recommend.
Show More
daughter of wife #2 in a Mexican community of American polygamist Mormons in the 1980s. They lived on food stamps and Medicaid, girls didn't need to stay in school, and the author's mother never could leave or stand up to their dangerous and abusive stepfather, Lane. Even more incomprehensible, the author's mother selected "wife #3 - Susan" "because Lane would have anyway, so this way I can choose my next sister-wife." These are highlights - the theme is of a young girl growing and surviving through a life few people have experienced, or understand.The Sound of Gravel (published in 2015) has many similarities and parallel themes to Tara Westover's Educated, (published in 2018). I am not listing them to avoid spoilers. If you read Educated, you will also like this book. This would make a great book club read, and it is a recommend.
Show Less
LibraryThing member loraineo
this is a very well written memoir of a woman growing up in a polygamist cult.. She lived in a very dysfunctional family, but has been able to finally achieve a good life. Very strong woman who along with many others endured horrific trauma for many years.
LibraryThing member indygo88
Ruth Wariner spent the majority of her childhood and teen years in a rural polygamist community in Mexico, where she was the 39th child of her father's 42 children, and the 4th child of her mother's 10 children. Following her father's death shortly after Ruth's own birth, her mother marries a
Stories like this make me very angry. It's really very difficult for me to have patience for women who subject themselves to the chauvinistic behavior of men who use religion to brainwash and achieve what they want. While the men in these communities anger me as well, it's the women who anger me more for their weak and spineless behavior. I realize I'm looking at this from an outsider's view, but still. This is a heartbreaking memoir which nearly brought me to tears on several occasions. I thought it was fairly well written, and while the author read her own audiobook, I felt that her voice was too monotone to really do this story justice. I doubt that this will ever make the big screen, but I'd love to see it there someday.
Show More
second time, and Ruth(ie) is forced to live with a stepfather who takes turns spending the nights with his various wives. Meanwhile, all of his wives and children live in poverty and struggle to stay fed while living in homes usually without indoor plumbing or electricity. Spending some time with her mother's somewhat estranged family in the United States and living portions of her childhood in Calilfornia and Texas, Ruthie knows that her family's way of life is not necessarily typical outside of her own community, and as she becomes older, she yearns to escape. Stories like this make me very angry. It's really very difficult for me to have patience for women who subject themselves to the chauvinistic behavior of men who use religion to brainwash and achieve what they want. While the men in these communities anger me as well, it's the women who anger me more for their weak and spineless behavior. I realize I'm looking at this from an outsider's view, but still. This is a heartbreaking memoir which nearly brought me to tears on several occasions. I thought it was fairly well written, and while the author read her own audiobook, I felt that her voice was too monotone to really do this story justice. I doubt that this will ever make the big screen, but I'd love to see it there someday.
Show Less
Language
Original publication date
2015
ISBN
1250104440 / 9781250104441