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Available
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Publication
Grand Central Publishing (2013), 304 pages
Description
"In the bestselling tradition of Escape and Stolen Innocence, the first look behind the curtains of the Westboro Baptist Church, by a young woman cast out from its clutches"--Provided by the publisher.
Media reviews
Kirkus Reviews
The inside story of a small hate group that captured big headlines. The Westboro Baptist Church is infamous for having carried picket signs reading "Thank God for 9/11" on the day it happened. They brought the message "God Hates America" to the funerals of servicemen killed in action and picketed
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George W. Bush's second inauguration with signs that read, "God Hates Fag Enablers." Considering themselves the messengers of a wrathful, vengeful God, they warn of an upcoming apocalypse in which all but the elect members of their church will be plummeted to hell. With the assistance of former New York Times correspondent Pulitzer (co-author: Stolen Innocence: My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs, 2010, etc.), Drain describes the life of this pernicious cult and the seven years that she spent in its clutches. Located in Topeka, Kan., the Church's congregation brought together 70 people at most, many of them family members of pastor Fred Phelps, whose belief system was based on a fundamentalism that targeted homosexuals. The author's father converted while filming a documentary about the group. In 2000, he coerced his wife and the author (then 15) to join and accompany him in a move from their Florida home to Topeka. She describes how she struggled to adhere to the group's doctrine, a struggle caused by extreme social pressure (including her father's physical abuse and threats to disown her.)Even so, she was ultimately banished from the group (and any contact with her immediate family) in 2007. Drain describes how her own identity eroded during the time she was a member of the cult, as she sought to quell her doubts in order to gain acceptance, and how the dynamic of an extended family intensified their paranoid delusions. A chilling but illuminating account of the inner workings of a hate group and Drain's ultimately successful struggle to free herself. Show Less
Publishers Weekly
A move with her family to Topeka, Kans., in 2001 precipitated years of immersion in a virulently antigay, hate-fueled church, which Drain, now in her late 20s, depicts in this somewhat incongruously matter-of-fact, emotionally one-note memoir. The Drain family moved from Florida at the instigation
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of her father, a documentary filmmaker whose critical work about the notorious gay rights–picketing Westboro Baptist Church evolved into a highly admiring portrait of this small Calvinistic sect that believed in the imminent end of the world, the frightening wrath of God before the innate sin of mankind, with a slim few chosen for “election.” A small, insular sect started in 1955 by the loud curbside preacher Fred Phelps, the WBC was mostly run by his dozen children and grandchildren, who all lived in a compound around the Topeka church, maintained tight control over communal behavior, and regularly picketed events such as gay pride and AIDS marches with incendiary language and signs designed to provoke outrage (e.g., “God hates fags”). Obedience and conformity were pillars of the church, and increasingly hard to swallow for the then-teenage author whose few forays into adolescent flirting got her branded a “whore.” Her narrative of these horrifying pickets are detailed (“we became almost possessed”) and particularly chilling in her recitation of being absolutely cast out by her own family without any compunction. Show Less
Barnes & Noble, product description
You've likely heard of the Westboro Baptist Church. Perhaps you've seen their pickets on the news, the members holding signs with messages that are too offensive to copy here, protesting at events such as the funerals of soldiers, the 9-year old victim of the recent Tucson shooting, and Elizabeth
Since no organized religion will claim affiliation with the WBC, it's perhaps more accurate to think of them as a cult. Lauren Drain was thrust into that cult at the age of 15, and then spat back out again seven years later. BANISHED is the first look inside the organization, as well as a fascinating story of adaptation and perseverance.
Lauren spent her early years enjoying a normal life with her family in Florida. But when her formerly liberal and secular father set out to produce a documentary about the WBC, his detached interest gradually evolved into fascination, and he moved the entire family to Kansas to join the church and live on their compound. Over the next seven years, Lauren fully assimilated their extreme beliefs, and became a member of the church and an active and vocal picketer. But as she matured and began to challenge some of the church's tenets, she was unceremoniously cast out from the church and permanently cut off from her family and from everyone else she knew and loved. BANISHED is the story of Lauren's fight to find herself amidst dramatic changes in a world of extremists and a life in exile.
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Edwards, all in front of their grieving families. The WBC is fervently anti-gay, anti-Semitic, and anti- practically everything and everyone. And they aren't going anywhere: in March, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of the WBC's right to picket funerals. Since no organized religion will claim affiliation with the WBC, it's perhaps more accurate to think of them as a cult. Lauren Drain was thrust into that cult at the age of 15, and then spat back out again seven years later. BANISHED is the first look inside the organization, as well as a fascinating story of adaptation and perseverance.
Lauren spent her early years enjoying a normal life with her family in Florida. But when her formerly liberal and secular father set out to produce a documentary about the WBC, his detached interest gradually evolved into fascination, and he moved the entire family to Kansas to join the church and live on their compound. Over the next seven years, Lauren fully assimilated their extreme beliefs, and became a member of the church and an active and vocal picketer. But as she matured and began to challenge some of the church's tenets, she was unceremoniously cast out from the church and permanently cut off from her family and from everyone else she knew and loved. BANISHED is the story of Lauren's fight to find herself amidst dramatic changes in a world of extremists and a life in exile.
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User reviews
LibraryThing member knownever
She "escapes" aka "gets banished" and ends up finding a new spiritual teacher in Arnold Murray's televised bible studies. Um...the same Arnold Murray that the Southern Poverty Law Center monitors for preaching Christian Identity teachings? I can't help but feel that Lauren Drain wrote this book
It gives some insight into the inner workings of the WBC, but it isn't able to touch on how someone rebuilds their life after an extreme experience like that, which I think is why some of the other reviewers felt she came off a "whiny" or only unhappy with the church now that she is banished from it. And, I'm hoping, why she ends the book with the "fascinating" teachings of a preacher with close ties to the white supremacist movement...
Maybe who she is barely two years after leaving a highly controlling environment is who she will always be, but, at least based on the public statements of two of Phelps' sons who left much earlier, healing and finding one's own identity after being part of a fringe group like the WBC is a very long road. The book written two years after leaving can't possibly capture that.
Also, found the totally weird and abusive dynamic of her nuclear family really compelling. Like her father started hitting her and calling her a whore for flirting with a boy in Jr high. Also, as she got older her mother had her raise her two younger siblings beginning in high school and continuing through college. The weirdest of all was her parents taking out a credit card in her name to pay for extravagant upgrades to the house, her father's camera equipment, and the down payment on a truck (F-150 naturally) that the college student then had to pay off in addition to paying her own college tuition. Girl definitely got dealt a bum hand because, at least how she tells it, the people around her seemed to keep her around to use her and then discarded her when they were done with her.
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before she was really ready to.It gives some insight into the inner workings of the WBC, but it isn't able to touch on how someone rebuilds their life after an extreme experience like that, which I think is why some of the other reviewers felt she came off a "whiny" or only unhappy with the church now that she is banished from it. And, I'm hoping, why she ends the book with the "fascinating" teachings of a preacher with close ties to the white supremacist movement...
Maybe who she is barely two years after leaving a highly controlling environment is who she will always be, but, at least based on the public statements of two of Phelps' sons who left much earlier, healing and finding one's own identity after being part of a fringe group like the WBC is a very long road. The book written two years after leaving can't possibly capture that.
Also, found the totally weird and abusive dynamic of her nuclear family really compelling. Like her father started hitting her and calling her a whore for flirting with a boy in Jr high. Also, as she got older her mother had her raise her two younger siblings beginning in high school and continuing through college. The weirdest of all was her parents taking out a credit card in her name to pay for extravagant upgrades to the house, her father's camera equipment, and the down payment on a truck (F-150 naturally) that the college student then had to pay off in addition to paying her own college tuition. Girl definitely got dealt a bum hand because, at least how she tells it, the people around her seemed to keep her around to use her and then discarded her when they were done with her.
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LibraryThing member Carlie
When she was 14 years old, Lauren Drain’s father set out to make a documentary about the Westboro Baptist Church, but became an adherent instead. He moved this wife and two daughters from Florida to Topeka so they could all join the church. Her mother was reluctant at first but acquiesced.
Drain
When she was caught speaking to a man through email who was not a member of the church, she was reprimanded and put on house arrest, only allowed to leave under strict guidelines. She still managed to communicate with her fellow, though, and was found out. One day she came home from work and was told to leave and never come back. She hasn’t seen anyone from the church since, including her parents and siblings.
She has come to see the church as a cult and is glad she is no longer a part of it. While reading this book, I couldn’t help but think of how much damage this situation must have done to her. Being told you are shameful and going to hell and then being abandoned by your family is devastating. Trying to find a new belief system after seven years of indoctrination must have been confusing. She seems to have come out if it well, though I’m sure there is still some injury.
Drain
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tells her story of trying to be an obedient daughter and faithful follower of the church while also increasingly questioning those practices. As she grew older, the church grew more radical. They had been picketing for many years, but then they began to attend military funerals and celebrating the deaths of 9/11. When she would speak up regarding inconsistencies in the church’s doctrine, she was shut down and shamed.When she was caught speaking to a man through email who was not a member of the church, she was reprimanded and put on house arrest, only allowed to leave under strict guidelines. She still managed to communicate with her fellow, though, and was found out. One day she came home from work and was told to leave and never come back. She hasn’t seen anyone from the church since, including her parents and siblings.
She has come to see the church as a cult and is glad she is no longer a part of it. While reading this book, I couldn’t help but think of how much damage this situation must have done to her. Being told you are shameful and going to hell and then being abandoned by your family is devastating. Trying to find a new belief system after seven years of indoctrination must have been confusing. She seems to have come out if it well, though I’m sure there is still some injury.
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LibraryThing member SherylHendrix
I read this book primarily to attempt to understand the mindset of a church that regularly pickets funerals of the military and others involved in tragedy. Lauren Drain was moved by her parents to Topeka, Kansas as a young teenager when her father became enamored with and later joined the Westboro
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Baptist Church. I would like to point out that the Westboro Baptist Church is an independent group, unaffiliated with any of the major Baptist denominations, nor would any of them claim an affiliation with this church. The description of her life within the group is not mean-spirited and it is obvious that Lauren herself does not see them as totally evil or even totally wrong. But over time her eyes are opened to the unscriptural and inconsistent lifestyle being lived by the group which mainly consists of one family and a couple of small "hangers on". It was helpful to read the book to begin to understand the mindset of this sect. Show Less
LibraryThing member Jaylia3
At fifteen Lauren Drain moved from Florida to Kansas with her family to join the Westboro Baptist Church, famous for picketing the funerals of American soldiers killed in battle with huge signs and shouted slogans denouncing homosexuality. The church and its teachings were her world for eight
As someone interested trying to understand people’s motivations, beliefs, and behavior I found Lauren’s story fascinating and moving. She wanted to be a full and faithful member of the Westboro Baptist Church, but not being part of the Phelps family she always felt some insecurity, and her need to seek clarification on several Biblical issues got her branded as a trouble maker. When even her family turned their backs on her, she was forced to find a new way to live and think. Lauren writes about the evolution of her beliefs and actions with openness and honesty. It’s a mesmerizing and often heartbreaking book, which she ends with an apology for the hurt she has caused.
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years, and then she was banished. While a member of the church she embraced its belief in a wrathful God bent on punishing just about everyone. She didn’t see the church’s protest messages as hateful--she saw passion, bravery, and superior reasoning ability, and was proud, at the time, to be a member of the group. As someone interested trying to understand people’s motivations, beliefs, and behavior I found Lauren’s story fascinating and moving. She wanted to be a full and faithful member of the Westboro Baptist Church, but not being part of the Phelps family she always felt some insecurity, and her need to seek clarification on several Biblical issues got her branded as a trouble maker. When even her family turned their backs on her, she was forced to find a new way to live and think. Lauren writes about the evolution of her beliefs and actions with openness and honesty. It’s a mesmerizing and often heartbreaking book, which she ends with an apology for the hurt she has caused.
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LibraryThing member lamour
Reading a book like this one makes this reader even more convinced that joining any religious organization is a foolish endeavor. Drain's father was raised in a dysfunctional family and it appears to have scared him for he could not settle for a stable life style. It would appear he was man who
If ever a group of nut cases used the Bible and God for bizarre purposes, this is the group. With a belief that God is an angry God and has already preordained at birth that one will go to heaven or hell no matter how one lives one life, this church sets out to attack everything and anyone based on Americas acceptance of homosexuality. This includes picketing military funerals because soldiers are killed because the military supports a corrupt government (read condones gay marriage), and in Drain's case, she picketed her own high school and university graduations wearing her cap and gown because the education system accepts gays.
The hierarchy of this church is controlled by the Phelps family and they use fear and intimidation to control the flock. Spying on other members of the congregation is encouraged. The one positive piece of information that is revealed, that because it is almost impossible to marry someone who is not a church member and almost impossible to join the church, it is going to be extinct as an viable institution in the future. At the rate they were throwing members out for minor offenses such as hoarding, the future did look brief.
Includes some photographs.
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possessed some charisma for he was a good salesman and had organizational skills. He found his niche in life when he talked himself and his family into the Westboro Baptist Church. His treatment of his daughter was abusive and he was the one who led the movement to have her banished.If ever a group of nut cases used the Bible and God for bizarre purposes, this is the group. With a belief that God is an angry God and has already preordained at birth that one will go to heaven or hell no matter how one lives one life, this church sets out to attack everything and anyone based on Americas acceptance of homosexuality. This includes picketing military funerals because soldiers are killed because the military supports a corrupt government (read condones gay marriage), and in Drain's case, she picketed her own high school and university graduations wearing her cap and gown because the education system accepts gays.
The hierarchy of this church is controlled by the Phelps family and they use fear and intimidation to control the flock. Spying on other members of the congregation is encouraged. The one positive piece of information that is revealed, that because it is almost impossible to marry someone who is not a church member and almost impossible to join the church, it is going to be extinct as an viable institution in the future. At the rate they were throwing members out for minor offenses such as hoarding, the future did look brief.
Includes some photographs.
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LibraryThing member schatzi
Lauren Drain spent several of her formative years in the Westboro Baptist Church, a hate group based in Topeka, Kansas. She picketed at various events, including military funerals and other churches. She was eventually banished from the church (hence the title of the book), leaving her without a
I thought that I would like this book more than I did. It's not particularly well-written, though, and there's little information about the Church that isn't available in other places. I listened to the audiobook, which may have been a mistake. Lauren often comes across as a whiny, petulant child. I do sympathize, to an extent, with her; she did spend her teenage years under the control of a cult, and she was kicked out for the "infraction" of flirting with boys a few too many times for her group's liking, which left her on her own at a young age (early twenties).
However, Lauren spends much of the book making it appear that the Westboro Church wasn't really THAT bad. Instead of "surviving" her years in the church, as the book says, she seemed to enjoy it. She described picketing as "fun," and she made friends with some of Phelps' grandchildren and seemed to have a great time with them. She seems bewildered that people were just so MEAN to her and her church group when they were holding up such signs as "God hates f***" (I'm sorry, I won't type out that word). She states that the group wasn't really evil, just that they were trying to draw attention to themselves, so they used incendiary language to do so. Sure, Westboro thrives on attention, but I have no doubt that they mean EXACTLY what their signs say.
She also has a tendency to whine. She was offended that her father looked through her bookbag when she was fourteen and found sexually explicit notes from a boy in there. While I think his response was definitely an overreaction to the extreme, she acted like her parents had no right to look in her bag (umm...). She also whined about how her parents would call her to ask where she was if she took longer than usual at the store (I don't see what's wrong with that), and she really went emo about how the parents at Westboro didn't trust her driving their kids around after she was involved in THREE accidents. I wouldn't trust her, either. Geez. Anything to try to add some drama, I guess.
At the end of the book, I was left with the distinct impression that Lauren would gladly have remained in Westboro forever had she not been banished by the group. In fact, I was left wondering if she would return if she could. A statement in her epilogue also left me with a bad taste in my mouth: "I will never be a political activist for gay rights, but I like gay people and have lots of gay friends, too." Oh god, not the "I don't believe gay people should have the same rights as straight people, but hey, I have gay friends so it's totally okay!!!!!" thing. Ugh. (She did, however, pose for a No H8 picture - did she change her mind or was she still trying for attention?) I just can't recommend this memoir.
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family or friends.I thought that I would like this book more than I did. It's not particularly well-written, though, and there's little information about the Church that isn't available in other places. I listened to the audiobook, which may have been a mistake. Lauren often comes across as a whiny, petulant child. I do sympathize, to an extent, with her; she did spend her teenage years under the control of a cult, and she was kicked out for the "infraction" of flirting with boys a few too many times for her group's liking, which left her on her own at a young age (early twenties).
However, Lauren spends much of the book making it appear that the Westboro Church wasn't really THAT bad. Instead of "surviving" her years in the church, as the book says, she seemed to enjoy it. She described picketing as "fun," and she made friends with some of Phelps' grandchildren and seemed to have a great time with them. She seems bewildered that people were just so MEAN to her and her church group when they were holding up such signs as "God hates f***" (I'm sorry, I won't type out that word). She states that the group wasn't really evil, just that they were trying to draw attention to themselves, so they used incendiary language to do so. Sure, Westboro thrives on attention, but I have no doubt that they mean EXACTLY what their signs say.
She also has a tendency to whine. She was offended that her father looked through her bookbag when she was fourteen and found sexually explicit notes from a boy in there. While I think his response was definitely an overreaction to the extreme, she acted like her parents had no right to look in her bag (umm...). She also whined about how her parents would call her to ask where she was if she took longer than usual at the store (I don't see what's wrong with that), and she really went emo about how the parents at Westboro didn't trust her driving their kids around after she was involved in THREE accidents. I wouldn't trust her, either. Geez. Anything to try to add some drama, I guess.
At the end of the book, I was left with the distinct impression that Lauren would gladly have remained in Westboro forever had she not been banished by the group. In fact, I was left wondering if she would return if she could. A statement in her epilogue also left me with a bad taste in my mouth: "I will never be a political activist for gay rights, but I like gay people and have lots of gay friends, too." Oh god, not the "I don't believe gay people should have the same rights as straight people, but hey, I have gay friends so it's totally okay!!!!!" thing. Ugh. (She did, however, pose for a No H8 picture - did she change her mind or was she still trying for attention?) I just can't recommend this memoir.
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LibraryThing member ThothJ
Very, very disturbing. These people aren't Christian, they belong to a nasty cult. The double-standard in the church, the Phelps spawn get second chances, while those not of the clan, get held to a higher standard and then tossed out on their ears for minor infractions.
LibraryThing member ThothJ
Very, very disturbing. These people aren't Christian, they belong to a nasty cult. The double-standard in the church, the Phelps spawn get second chances, while those not of the clan, get held to a higher standard and then tossed out on their ears for minor infractions.
LibraryThing member ThothJ
Very, very disturbing. These people aren't Christian, they belong to a nasty cult. The double-standard in the church, the Phelps spawn get second chances, while those not of the clan, get held to a higher standard and then tossed out on their ears for minor infractions.
LibraryThing member ThothJ
Very, very disturbing. These people aren't Christian, they belong to a nasty cult. The double-standard in the church, the Phelps spawn get second chances, while those not of the clan, get held to a higher standard and then tossed out on their ears for minor infractions.
LibraryThing member PhilipJHunt
A cautionary tale that reminds us that there is a fuzzy line between orthodoxy and heresy. Lauren, and her co-author, the well-named Lisa Pulitzer, do an exceptional job of putting us in the mind of a teenager trapped in a cult. If you ever wonder why people don't just get up and walk out, Lauren's
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story should help. Show Less
LibraryThing member SwitchKnitter
This is a very sad but moving book. Drain was fourteen when her family joined the WBC, and her tale is one of a teenage girl who just wanted to fit in and please her father. I feel for her, and I'm glad the book ended the way it did. May she have a long and happy life. She's earned it.
Language
Original publication date
2013-03-05