Never Suck A Dead Man's Hand: Curious Adventures of a CSI

by Dana Kollmann

Paperback, 2008

Status

Available

Call number

509

Genres

Collection

Your library

Publication

Citadel (2008), Paperback, 304 pages

Description

Law. Science. True Crime. Nonfiction. Step past the flashing lights into the true scene of the crime with this frank, unflinching, and unforgettable account of life as a crime scene investigator. Whether explaining rigor mortis or the art of fingerprinting a stiff corpse on the side of the road, Dana Kollmann details her true, unvarnished experiences as a CSI for the Baltimore County Police Department. Unlike the popular crime dramas proliferating on today's television networks, these forensic tales forgo glitz for grit to show what really goes on. Kollmann recounts stories that the cops and the CSI's usually leave in the field, bringing the sights, smells, and sounds of a crime scene alive as never before. Unveiling the process and science of crime scene investigation in all its fascination, Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand takes you into the strange world behind the yellow tape, offering a truly eye-opening perspective on the day-to-day life of a CSI. Contains mature themes.… (more)

User reviews

LibraryThing member verbafacio

This book is fun at times, absolutely disgusting at others, and interesting throughout. I found the forensics very interesting, and this book has confirmed that real life is nothing like what you see on CSI. My biggest issue, beyond the frequent need to gag, was that the book seems disjointed.

Kollman has some good stories, but she strings them together in no particular order, which can be tedious to read.

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LibraryThing member nilchance

In the interest of full disclosure, Dana Kollman was my forensics professor two years ago. I've heard several of the stories she tells in this book, and I paged through it to see whether she told "the ceiling fan story", which she did. It helps to have a strong stomach. She could've used a better

editor, and at times her narrative wanders, but it's still a funny and touching book on real CSIs in the field.

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LibraryThing member meggyweg

This was informative and often extremely funny -- my favorite story being the one where she called a funeral home and asked to buy two coffins for "sixteen dead people in beer boxes in my garage" which she had "dug out of the cemetery and needed to put back." (These were old skeletons from an

almshouse cemetery that had been uncovered during some construction and needed to be re-interred elsewhere.) The style of writing reminds me of Mary Roach, which is a high compliment.

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LibraryThing member crazybatcow

It has some very funny "scenes", and some very disturbing ones, and some very disgusting ones (I was reading it over lunch one day and actually had to stop reading because it was a bit too nauseating).

There is a bit too much "background" about the author's childhood and mother and her mother's

"superstition". Maybe it's relevant to Kollman's career choice, but it doesn't really fit in the book.

Overall, it's a fast and funny read but you have to have quite a strong stomach to get through some of the descriptions.

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LibraryThing member meags222

I really wanted to read more non-fiction this year and when I saw this book on a In My Mailbox vlog at In the Library of Lady Violet I just had to have it. I actually downloaded it for my Kindle right after seeing the vlog. Although Kollmann describes some pretty gruesome things she does it such a

way that actually makes you laugh out loud. I couldn't put this book down. Kollman describes things like rotting decomposing bodies, what happens to a body once it's been enbalmed and the discomfort of any talk about bodily functions. This book is not for the squeamish but if you love the show CSI you will enjoy reading this. Kollmann makes it quite clear that being a real CSI is much different than the way it is portrayed in the media. She also explains how this is affecting judicial system in the United States. I guess most people think there should be more evidence and that it is easier to get than it actually is therefore more people are being acquited of crimes that are judged by a jury. I don't want to say much because I don't want to give much away but I would most definitely recommend going to pick this up as soon as you can. I give this book 5 out of 5 stars.

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LibraryThing member bemislibrary

Graphic politically incorrect look at being a forensics as told by a former Maryland and Virginia crime scene investigator. Author Kollmann describes health risks, emotional encounters and offers some inappropriate gallows humor based on personal observations and interactions with others at work.

This is a good book for individuals considering a career that involves working at a crime scene or those interested in the multitude of forensic shows on television.

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LibraryThing member Mrs_McGreevy

Gross, fascinating, and often hilarious account of one CSI's most interesting cases. Worth reading for the story where she tries to buy coffins in bulk over the phone alone.

LibraryThing member MontzaleeW

Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand
Curious Adventures of a CSI
by Dana Kollmann
Narrated by Kate Zane

I want to thank the publisher and NetGalley for letting me listen to this terrific book! I found it fascinating and informative. My job as a nurse was quite incredibly but she has me beat! I never had a dead

man's hand in my mouth! Yuck!

This book is filled with interesting stories of how she got to be in this position of a civil CSI without having to be a police officer first and the problems she had to endure from the police because of it. She was considered a scab and treated pretty poorly from many cops.

She tells about some of her early cases, how her family felt about her job, her memorable dog cases, and others. She really had to have a strong stomach!

I found it so gross but interesting at the same time! Definitely a different kind of book! But I like different! Narration was terrific too!

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LibraryThing member RidgewayGirl

Forensic anthropologists come up with weird titles. From Dead Men Do Tell Tales by William R. Maples to Bone Voyage by Stanley Rhine, you can picture the authors giggling to themselves as came up with that "perfect" title. And Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand certainly fits right in, even if the author

didn't finish her doctorate until after she spent ten years working for the Baltimore PD as a crime scene investigator. It's her years as a CSI that this book is about. When Kollmann got her job as a CSI it was during a difficult period for that department. Previously, the job had been saved for police officers nearing retirement and there was a great deal of resentment aimed at these new civilians now working that job. Kollmann was subjected to cold treatment and some not-entirely-benign hazing but she stuck with it and did her job, often working in terrible conditions.

Kollmann is not a writer and this book would have benefited from some editorial attention. The first half is far better than the second, as Kollmann runs out of stories and fills the pages with the kinds of stories that are only funny after a long day and several beers. Kollmann has had an interesting career, and includes pictures of the archaeological digs she worked on and the work she did in the Balkans identifying victims of that war. Sadly, the pictures were included, but nothing made it into the text of the book, leaving this reader convinced that had she had more time (she admits that she wrote this book while she was working on her dissertation and caring for a baby) and someone to help her with the writing, this would have been an excellent and informative book.

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